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    I hope makes it easier for you! God bless you - Edward: We had both virtually given up looking for a partner and were content to lead single lives. For me, that was particularly difficult. I really wanted someone to spend my life with. But - after several meetups and a brief hesitation on her part, she agreed to marry me and made me the happiest man alive. Thanks so much free Christian Singles site!

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    Tweet This week I want to share with you some great personal ads to use to attract single women like crazy and increase your responses to personal ads that you place in singles publications, on the net, newspapers, etc.

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    Have heart, will give. SWM, 40, slender, 6' 1", lbs. In search of SWF,slender, romantic and affectionate, who has as much to give. Comes with black flat top, looks great atstands 5' 11" and loaded. One owner is non-smoking, degreed professional male. Seeking attractive female buyer, who knows an exceptional deal. Write for complete details. Some of life's pleasures for me are cookingworking on cars, fishing, camping, traveling.

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    For sure, being single when you want to find a life partner can feel profoundly frustrating.

    Maybe you've been dating or even living with someone and couples counseling could help you make the leap to marriage. If you haven't yet found someone whom you want to love forever, fortunately, there may be factors that you can address that could help you in your partner search.

    Devote more energy to meeting new people? Reach out more warmly to potential partners? If flirting means showing enthusiasm when you meet someone you like, yes. If flirting means being sexually seductive, maybe yes and maybe no.

    Looking like a flirt turns some potential partners off. At the same time, showing interest in someone who interests you is a definite plus. The key factor in picking a spouse is matching. I recall once hearing an actor describe tryouts for a play. The person who gets the role is the one who is best matched for it. Subconsciously all of us are looking for someone who feels like the pepper to our salt shaker. The more that two people look and feel like a matched pair, be it in appearance, cultural background, economic expectations, psychological wounds and strengths, speech patterns, interests and more, the more likely they will say, "Yes!

    That's the one for me! Fromm said that it's best to look for "someone who is like what you like best about yourself. If you like the facts that you are Irish Catholic, fun-loving, and out-going, look for the same. While having not yet found your match says NOTHING about how good a person you are, taking a fresh look at what's working and what's not may help to speed up your progress toward your goal.

    Have Your Say

    That's the point of this quiz. Others have deeper fears that hold them back. Still others need to rethink their courting strategy to come up with a plan of action that will put them in contact with more of their kind of folks.

    The following quiz lists twenty factors that can affect spouse-finding. No doubt, there are others. Finding your match can be a challenge. Do I speak more rapidly, or slowly with pauses between words? Matching of vocal patterns plays a vital and yet often subconscious role in mate selection.

    Look for someone whose voice and speaking style matches yours; alternatively, think about adapting your style to the style of potential partners who in other dimensions look like possible matches. In a conversation do I use more air-time than others?

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    Matching again is key. Talkers are attracted to talkers, quiet folks to quiet folks. When I talk, do I often give lengthy explanations or monologues? While matching plays a key role, certain styles can be a turn-off to just about anyone. Long monologues tend to drain energy from a conversation.

    Talking together is usually most fun when each of you alternate speaking in short segments, each adding just a few sentences that make one point per talk-time. Am I more interested in talking about myself and my views than in asking others about their thoughts and experiences? Narcissism is a stance of 'all about me. At the same time, if you are all about the other person with virtually no talking about yourself, you are likely to be at risk for attracting a narcissistic other.

    Do I often tell others what they should do, or guess what they are thinking and feeling? Do I assume that I can know what they should do or what they think and feel instead of asking them? Just be sure that you put your preferences on the table as well. A strong relationshp generally has co-pilots.

    When others are talking do I think about what I want to say next rather than actively absorbing what they tell me? Just as baseball requires skills at both throwing and catching, partnering requires skills at both talking and listening.

    Black and white thinking: Note that the link above goes to a skill set that will help with overcoming an "I'm right; you're wrong" habit. My way or the highway: When we have to make a decision together, do I tend to convey that it's my way or the highway?

    If so, better check out how to do the win-win waltz. While you are at it, get savvy about gender differences in decision-making.

    Do I often get irritated? When I do get mad, do I sometimes get very mad? Learning how to express feelings can help. Also, learning to exit instead of arguing is vital. Irritability can be a huge turn-off to potential partners. Do I attempt to change the other person? Learning skills for using I-messages instead of you-messages and the other basics of talking collaboratively could make a big difference. Did my parents enjoy a positive relationship?

    Some people have a deep-down fear of marriage. Often that fear is built on having watched their parents suffer from inabililty to create a positive alliance or sustain a tone of goodwill. Bone up on how to emanate positivity.

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    Learn also how to take situations of conflict and turn them into shared-problem-solving. If my parents divorced, do I feel unclear about why they split up?

    If so, a conversation with your mother and another with your father to ask for their understandings of mistakes each of them made that undermined their ability to enjoy a lifelong partnership. This understanding is important in order to free you up from marriage-wariness. If you have not learned from history you may be understandably cautious about repeating it.

    You may feel in relationships that you are always waiting for the other shoe to fall and then suddenly, poof, the relationship will be over. Were one or both of my parents unhappy in their marriage? If your parents looked unhappy or fought a lot, odds are that marriage looks unappealing to you.

    In this case, taking a how-to course on marriage can remove the mysteriousness of how to sustain long-lasting love. Also, a course can reassure you that even though your parents were not able to demonstrate collaborative communicating for you, you have learned the skills for marriage success. Is it possible that I don't like myself?

    If you have a negative relationship with yourself, if you do not accept and like yourself, or if you often say negative words to yourself like "That was stupid! If you have a hunch that this pattern might be so, transitioning from self-dislike to self-acceptance is an issue that may be important to work on. Train yourself to say to yourself, "I'm fine. Have you been relatively passive about the process of finding a match, waiting for The Right One to arrive in your world?

    If you needed a new sofa, you would not wait patiently for one to arrive. You would go shopping. The more active you are about going out and looking for a suitable life partner, the more likely you are to find one. The more new people you encounter per week, the higher the odds that one of them will be right for you. Where can you find people? Go to events and places that your kind of match might go to as well.

    Or go out of your house to anywhere. Even a walk in the park gives you higher odds of bumping into an interesting new someone than staying home. One young man told me he had decided he was ready to marry. He told me his plan: The next week when we talked again he reported that he had met a lovely young woman.

    Within weeks they were engaged. Here's a vital tip though: When you are out and about, think of yourself as the shopper, not the shoppee. Look around to identify potentially interesting folks and take action to get to know them.

    Ask friends to think about anyone they know who could be a good match. Third tip for an active approach to mate-finding: Use online dating sites. Many people are hesitant to use the sites. At the same time, the sites often do yield results. I've been impressed with how many individuals in my clinical practice have found their life partner online.

    At the same time as you make the hunt for a life partner a top priority, do keep living your life.

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    Constant shopping and hunting can get demoralizing. Feeling that your own life is gratifying and worthwhile is important for your own satisfaction, and also makes you more attractive as a potential partner for someone else.

    Why I Don't Respect Single Mothers And Neither Should YOU

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