Dating site dilemmas

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  • Dating Dilemmas: Girls on Dating Sites
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  • Torero Tomfoolery #24: Date Dilemmas
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    Conflict cost the lives of hundreds of Native Americans, white settlers, and soldiers. Army suppressed the uprising it established a commission that condemned Dakota men in trials that were patently unfair.

    The Dakota had existed for generations on the land surrounding the confluence of the Mississippi and Minnesota Rivers, site of the present-day cities of Minneapolis and St. Their only enemy was the Chippewa to the north. Real change began afterwhen federal soldiers built Fort Snelling, a sprawling outpost above the mouth of the Minnesota River.

    After that the stream of white traders and settlers became a flood; land treaties in and and Minnesota statehood in pushed the Dakota off their native lands westward to a narrow, mile-long reservation on the harsh prairie along the Minnesota River. The exodus also forced the Dakota to change their way of life.

    Government agents on the reservation favored those Dakota who settled on plots, learned English, cut their hair, and took up farming.

    Yet the crops failed year after year, and the Dakota grew dependent upon government gold annuities that were promised by the land treaties, and upon the foods and sundries peddled by white traders. The Dakota were often left with little after government agents paid annuity moneys first to the traders who had given credit to the Dakota for goods purchased at highly over-inflated prices.

    Those Dakota who refused to give up their traditional ways were in an even worse position and spent many winters in near-starving conditions. The situation reached its flashpoint in the summer of The financial cost of the Civil War was bleeding the government dry, and rumors flew that there would be no annuity gold for the Dakota.

    Traders who had liberally given credit in the past now slammed the door. Tensions mounted until four Dakota led by an Indian named Killing Ghost murdered five white settlers on August Some Dakota leaders sensed this was an opportunity to strike back at the U. Government, and they pressed Chief Taoyateduta, or Little Crow, to strike at the whites while many soldiers were fighting in the Civil War. Little Crow initially wanted no part of a war with the whites, recognizing the calamity that would surely follow.

    But when faced with a challenge to his authority, he reluctantly relented. Ironically, the annuity gold shipment had left St. Paul that same day. The Dakota raged across the countryside with a fury. Four to eight hundred white settlers were butchered during the first four days of the rampage, while their farms and fields burned. The Dakota hit first and hard at the reservation agency, killing dozens. One of the victims was trader Myrick.

    His killers stuffed his mouth with grass. They annihilated a detachment of soldiers dispatched from nearby Fort Ridgely before being repulsed in two assaults on the garrison itself. They twice attacked and burned most of the town of New Ulm but failed to capture it from its armed residents.

    Panic surged throughout Minnesota. Sibley, a former fur trader, politician and friend of the Dakota. Unsure of his authority, Sibley failed to declare martial law and moved excruciatingly slowly.

    He did not engage the Dakota until early Septemberwhen Indians surprised and butchered a man reconnaissance detail at Birch Coulee.

    Dating Dilemmas: Girls on Dating Sites


    The debacle slowed Sibley even more, and he did not meet Little Crow in full force until September 22, when he won a decisive victory at Wood Lake. The Dakota scattered over the prairie. Sibley finally managed to capture about 1, men, women, and children, but Little Crow was not among them. Sibley intended to prosecute as war criminals those Indians who had participated in the rebellion. The commission began the hearings on the reservation on September 28 and tried 16 men that day alone.

    This breakneck pace continued, and by November 3—a mere five weeks later—the commission had conducted trials, including an astonishing 40 in one day. Williamson noted that the trials took less time than the state courts required to try a single murder defendant. The accused were hauled before the commission, sometimes manacled together in groups, and were arraigned through an interpreter. The charges ranged from rape to murder to theft, although most Dakota were accused of merely participating in battles.

    The defendants entered a plea, and those who pleaded not guilty had an opportunity to speak. The commission then called and examined its own witnesses, but it did not permit the Dakota to have counsel for their defense. The commission received testimony from eyewitnesses to some of the murders.

    Most of the evidence turned out to be hearsay, with witnesses declaring what they heard others say about particular killings. The commission relied heavily on six witnesses, each of whom offered evidence in dozens of trials.

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    The most damning of these was Joseph Godfrey, a mulatto who had lived among the Dakota and taken a Dakota wife. Not the least thing had escaped his eye or ear. Such an Indian had a double-barreled gun, another a single-barreled, another a long one, another a lance, and another one nothing at all… Godfrey testified in more than 50 trials.

    In a remarkable irregularity the commission even allowed him to question particular witnesses. Most defendants admitted to participating in some sort of warfare, whether in battles, attacks on armed settlements, or skirmishes with settlers. After news of the first few death sentences spread among the prisoners, however, many defendants then claimed they did not shoot at settlers or soldiers, or they did not hit them because of poor aim, or their weapons did not fire.

    Some testified they merely watched others fight or commit atrocities. Others offered evidence that they had saved the lives of whites, but the commission largely ignored it, even when the accounts were corroborated. Sibley and Pope desperately wanted to begin the executions immediately, but the sentences required presidential review.

    The editors of the New York Times berated Pope for his profligacy and suggested the amount be deducted from his salary. All of them are guilty of these things in more or less degree. As Lincoln began his deliberations, people on both sides of the issue bombarded him with letters and telegrams. Politicians, army officers, and clergy called on the president at the White House, each adding his take on the situation and offering advice.

    Lincoln dutifully and patiently listened. These two peoples cannot live together. One man stood almost alone with a voice of moderation. Bishop Henry Whipple, head of the Minnesota Episcopal Church, spoke often of the hypocrisy of federal Indian policies. Who is guilty of the causes which desolated our border?

    At whose door is the blood of these innocent victims? I believe that God will hold the Nation guilty. The timing of the Dakota crisis could not have been worse for the president. On a personal level, he and his wife, Mary, still grieved over the death, nine months earlier, of their year-old son, Willie.

    On a political level, the administration faced one crisis after another. The war effort was in tatters. McClellan tolerated precious little advice from the president and sometimes even refused to meet with him. Finally the exasperated president dismissed the insolent general and replaced him with Ambrose Burnside, soon to be responsible for the Union disaster at Fredericksburg.

    Torero Tomfoolery #24: Date Dilemmas


    As the blunders mounted, Lincoln also faced a challenge to his leadership from disgruntled cabinet members. Lincoln knew of these designs and only tolerated them because Chase was a supremely able leader of his department.

    Slavery issues preoccupied Lincoln as well. Somewhere between the bad tidings and bouts of depression the president managed to work on the final drafts of the Emancipation Proclamation, an executive order that would free the slaves in most of the South, even as he was being called upon to suppress the Dakota. The president first reviewed them as the expert lawyer he truly was. Largely self-taught, he gained a formidable reputation as both a defense lawyer and court-appointed prosecutor known for his piercing cross-examinations and folksy, countrified manner.

    The president often utilized his legal skills when called upon to review the hundreds of Civil War military court verdicts appealed to him. By law and practice, there were basically two types of military courts at the time: Courts martial were comprised of a dozen officers and were generally held to try officers and enlisted men for dereliction of duty—sleeping while on sentry duty, cowardice, desertion, conduct unbecoming an officer—and for crimes such as rape and murder. Military commissions usually consisted of less than a dozen officers and were convened in areas where martial law had been declared, to try civilians accused of military crimes—spying, smuggling, conducting guerrilla actions against Union troops, and recruiting for the Confederacy.

    The law allowed the convicted to appeal to Lincoln in most cases, and in capital cases it was a matter of right. In the midst of the havoc wrought by the war, Lincoln spent many hours of many days reviewing transcripts and receiving visits from the pleading family members of convicted men.

    Lincoln could easily see the defects of the Dakota trials. Most importantly, the Dakota defendants had not been allowed representation by counsel. Defense lawyers would have raised objections to the jurisdiction of the commission in an area where martial law had not been ordered, as required by law. They would have questioned the impartiality of the five officers on the commission, all of whom fought against the Dakota and undoubtedly harbored ill will toward them. Without counsel, the defendants— already trapped behind a language and cultural barrier—did not have anyone to help them understand the proceedings, offer credible mitigating evidence, or develop and practice their own testimonies.

    The weight and impact of evidence simply could not be properly processed in a few minutes, especially in capital cases with their ultimate stakes. Undoubtedly the brevity of the trials resulted from the absence of defense counsel. The president could also see how the commission convicted many men with insufficient evidence. Lincoln, a master politician, also reviewed trials with a political perspective. Yet he also knew how the rest of the world, especially Britain—still considering whether to recognize the Confederacy as an independent nation—would perceive the mass execution of some men.

    As Secretary of the Navy Gideon Welles noted in his diary: In their lengthy debates over Civil War military court verdicts, Judge Advocate Holt often urged execution. In his review of death sentences for desertion, Lincoln disagreed with the trial courts at a rate of 75 percent initially, increasing to 95 percent by the middle of the war.

    In reviewing the death sentences of civilians handed down by military commissions, Lincoln disagreed with 60 percent of the trial courts.

    He was only merciless in cases involving cruelty or sex offenses.
    I wouldnt see a reason to keep it a secret, especially if were getting serious. Dishonesty can ruin a potentially good relationship. Its not all roses and Champagne. Be casual yet confident So exactly how does one reveal a secret without just blurting it out? In other words, make your delivery as drama free as possible. Um, youre not my doctor, dude. He suggests that she have a confident, straightforward response about how she would like them to react; something like: Robbins notes that if your health secret is a sexually transmitted disease STDyoure going to have to open up to someone sooner rather than later.

    But shes serious when it comes to telling boyfriends about her illness, which she got through a blood transfusion at birth. Just make sure theres no one within earshot. Seek out relationships online If you tend to meet potential partners through online networks such as Facebook or Match.

    However, if you're nervous about rejection or misunderstandings, you might be more comfortable dating someone with similar health issues. There are many niche sites that cater to people with specific conditions, and theyre a great way to be up-front with potential mates who are in the same boat, Davis says.

    Know when to give your partner space Even if you do your best to deliver a snag-free speech, its possible that there could be an awkward moment.

    Then, offer some physical distance but stay in contact, Davis says. Let them know that they are still on your mind and you cant wait to see them again.

    Besides, your perfect match will accept you no matter what, Davis says: At the end of the day, it means that they were not the one. Accept support Tiffany Sanchez Conover, 28, a store manager from northern Indiana, settled into a deep depression after her grandmother died. She and her husband recently went through a series of failed fertility treatments after finding out she likely cannot have children on her own.

    If I didnt tell my husband how I felt about it all every day, I probably would end up depressed again.
    Strong business ethics starts at the top of the company and works its way down to every level of operations. A code of ethics for business is the foundation of the guiding principles, both legal and value-oriented that companies use to keep their moral compass.

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    If an ethical dilemma arises, you should consider what is legal, what is in the code of ethics and what is the best for the people involved and the company. Start With Legalities The law is usually pretty straightforward with what is allowed and what isn't. If the ethical dilemma is thought to arise because of not following the law or because of compliance regulations, the resolution is usually straightforward, as well.

    All employees are expected to obey the law. If an employee is skimming money from the register, hurting someone or forging customer's signatures, disciplinary action should follow the confirmation of the illegal activity. It is important to not rush into firing an employee. Follow protocol as outlined in the employee manual, which states what to do in this instance. You usually start with restricting employee duties, pending an investigation. While keeping things as confidential as an investigation allows, determine if the employee actually broke the law, then call the legal authorities, if necessary.

    Not only do you need to stop the illegal behavior, you need to protect yourself and your business from adverse legal action for dismissing an employee without proper cause. Review the Code of Ethics Some ethics violations are less straightforward.

    EPISODE 10: DATING DILEMMAS WITH LYDIA BRIGHT AND JIM CHAPMAN


    Review the code of ethics and see how you have defined the situation, as it pertains to the stated action. For example, an employee might be accused of lying to clients about product benefits. In the course of your investigation, you find out that the employee is using analogies that suggest the product does more than it really does, but isn't directly lying about the product.

    However, you agree that the practice is misleading and creating unhappy customers. If the code of ethics clearly states that all employees are required to be honest and represent the company with a high sense of integrity, you have a basis for disciplinary action.

    Don't jump to excessive disciplinary action before you speak with the employee about the behavior. It could be that he innocently thought it was a valid analogy. Explain what violates the code of ethics and upsets customers. Document the warning and observe the employee to see if the pattern continues.

    If it does, further action is needed to prevent negative branding from occurring. Get Input Input comes from a variety of sources. If you are investigating certain actions, you will need to speak to those who have observed the unethical activity. Don't exclusively rely on other employees to make a judgment on whether something is ethical or not, but get a feel for how people react to the actions. Also, speak to confidants or mentors about what to do. An attorney can advise you of potential legal ramifications based on the activity and the actions taken.

    A mentor or other business advisor can help you work through some of the ethical dilemmas that aren't as black and white in nature. Remember to keep things confidential, so that you protect all involved, including the company's public image. Consider the Pros and Cons If the dilemma sits in the gray area of ethical behavior in the workplace, make a list of the pros and cons of the situation to make the best possible decision. If the code of ethics states that employees should not date each other and you determined that two key employees were dating, you may not want to fire two of your best.

    While they broke the rule, you must evaluate whether they were blatantly discussing the relationship at work, whether it was distracting from duties or otherwise affecting other workers or customers. You may ultimately realize the rule wasn't relevant to your company success and update the code of ethics. If you do, be sure to consult with business advisors regarding the ramifications of changing a policy after someone has violated it.

    This could affect the company beyond the employees violating the rules.
    This project was undertaken with the utmost caution. The reader should be aware that the moral climate in the Jewish community is unforgiving to those who find any redeeming merit from the Nazi horrors. Anyone who dares suggest the historical lessons which can be learned from the Holocaust, or from the victims' suffering, risks being labeled a heretic or a sensationalist bent on distorting history for personal gain.

    Many in the community seriously fear that insights might replace condemnation of the Nazi evil. The difficulty of objectively analyzing the use of Nazi data was further complicated by the use of the amorphous term, "data.

    It seems unattached to the tortured or their pain. Once cannot fully confront the dilemma of using the results of Nazi experiments without sensitizing one's self to the images of the frozen, the injected, the inseminated, and the sterilized.

    The issue of whether to use the Nazi data is a smokescreen from the reality of human suffering. Instead of the word "data," I suggest that we replace it with an Auschwitz bar of soap. This horrible bar of soap is the remains of murdered Jews. The image sensitizes and personalizes our dilemma.

    Imagine the extreme feeling of discomfort, and the mortified look of horror upon discovering that one just showered with the remains of murdered Jews. The ghastly thought of the Nazis melting human beings and perhaps even one's close relatives together for a bar of soap precludes any consideration of its use.

    How could any civilized person divorce the horror from the carnage without numbing one's self to the screams of the tortured and ravaged faces of the Holocaust? Indeed, it is only with this enhanced sensitivity to the suffering that one can accurately deal with the Nazi "data. They were housed for an entire year in Mengele's private lab in a wooden cage a yard and a half wide.

    Without anesthetic, Mengele would repeatedly scrape at the bone tissue of one of her legs. Her sister died from repeated injections to her spinal column. She claims that she is the real data, the living data of Dr. Any analysis that fails to see realistically the Nazi data as a blood soaked document fails to comprehend fully the magnitude of the issue. These serious misgivings forced the author to reflect and confront some difficult personal issues.

    May this disclaimer serve as a personal guarantee that the purpose of presenting the Nazi data for consideration was not to dilute nor detract from the enormous and unspeakable suffering of those who perished in, and survived from the death camps. The purpose of this project was to learn more about rather than replace, the Nazi evil. Nazi Experiments The Nazi physicians performed brutal medical experiments upon helpless concentration camp inmates.

    These acts of torture were characterized by several shocking features: The Nazi experiments fell into three basic categories: They were undertaken under Heinreich Himmler's direct orders to gain knowledge of certain wartime conditions faced by the German Luftwaffe.

    The Nazi doctors considered "military necessity" adequate justification for their heinous experiments. They justified their acts by saying that the prisoners were condemned to death anyway. Prisoners were immersed into tanks of ice water for hours at a time, often shivering to death, to discover how long German pilots downed by enemy fire could survive the frozen waters of the North Sea.

    It was generally known at the time that human beings did not survive immersion in the North Sea for more than one to two hours. About eighty to ninety of the subjects died as a result. Apparently, Rascher's concentration was constantly interrupted when the hypothermia victims shrieked from pain while their extremities froze white.

    InDoctor Rascher began hazardous high-altitude experiments at Dachau. His goal was to determine the best means of rescuing pilots from the perils of high altitude when they abandoned craft with or without oxygen equipment and were subjected to low atmospheric pressures. Rascher used a decompression chamber to simulate high altitude conditions. He would often dissect several of the victims' brains, while they were still alive, to demonstrate that high altitude sickness was a result of the formation of tiny air bubbles in the blood vessels of the subarachnoid part of the brain.

    Of the prisoners so tested, 80 died outright, and the remainder were executed. The subjects were given unaltered sea water and sea water whose taste was camouflaged as their sole source of fluid.

    Eppinger's infamous "Berka" method was devised to test whether such liquids given as the only supply of fluid could cause severe physical disturbance or death within six to twelve days. The Gypsies became so profoundly dehydrated that they were seen licking the floors after they were mopped just to get a drop of water. The New York Times obituary stated that he had committed suicide by poison] 6. The German Armed Forces suffered heavy casualties on the Russian Front in to because of gas gangrene.

    These casualties and other combat-related infections created an interest in a chemotherapeutic, rather than surgical treatment. The discovery of sulfanilamide offered the possibility of a new and revolutionary treatment of wound infections caused by the war. Wartime wounds were recreated and inflicted on healthy Jews designated to be treated by the new drug.

    Circulation of blood was interrupted by tying off blood vessels at both ends of the wound to create a condition similar to that of a battlefield wound]. The Nazis conducted experiments to determine whether there were any natural immunities to Tuberculosis "TB" and to develop a vaccination serum against TB. Doctor Heissmeyer sought to disprove the popular belief that TB was an infectious disease. Doctor Heissmeyer claimed that only an "exhaustive" organism was receptive to such infection, most of all the racially "inferior organism of the Jews.

    He also removed the lymph glands from the arms of twenty Jewish children. About adult subjects perished, and twenty children were hanged at the Bullenhauser Dam in Heissmeyer's effort to hide the experiments from the approaching Allied Army. Miscellaneous, Ad Hoc Experiments The Nazis also conducted experiments which involved unspeakable varieties of torture that carried no pretense of scientific inquiry.

    They included poison and wound experiments: A research team at Buchenwald developed a method of individual execution through the intravenous injections of phenol gasoline and cyanide on Russian prisoners.

    The experiments were designed to see how fast the subjects would die. When Himmler discovered that the cause of death of most SS soldiers on the battlefield was hemorrhage, he ordered Doctor Rascher to develop a blood coagulant to be administered to the German troops before they went off to war.

    Rascher tested his patented coagulant by observing the rate of blood drops that would ooze from freshly cut amputation stumps of living and conscious prisoners at the Dachau crematorium. Rascher would also shoot his Russian prisoners in the spleen whenever he needed extra blood to test. Racially Motivated Experiments The Nazi doctors also conducted experiments which were focused on anthropological, genetic, and racial goals.

    Donald Schon (Schön) learning, reflection and change

    Himmler was impressed upon hearing that Doctor Carl Clauberg successfully treated a high-ranking SS officer's infertile wife. Himmler commissioned Clauberg to work in Auschwitz and established Auschwitz Block 10 as Clauberg's laboratory. Block 10 was made up of mostly married women between the ages of 20 and 40, preferably those who had not borne children. There was a constant fear in Block 10 of being killed, sterilized, or inseminated by Clauberg.

    He would often tease the female prisoners that they would all undergo sexual intercourse with a male prisoner chosen especially for this purpose. At least one of the Orthodox Jewish women who heard that Clauberg selected her to be a Block 10 prostitute decided to poison herself. Ultimately, women prisoners were experimented on in Cell Block Himmler's real interest in Clauberg's Cell Block 10 was sterilization.

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    He convinced Clauberg to begin experiments on reversing his infertility treatments and to discover ways to block the fallopian tubes. Clauberg redirected all of his energies toward the single goal of effective mass sterilization. Thousands of inmates had their genitals mutilated in order to discover cheap methods of sterilization.

    The Nazis hoped that these methods could ultimately be applied to millions of "unwanted" prisoners. Women at Auschwitz were sterilized by injections of caustic substances into their cervix or uterus, producing horrible pain, inflamed ovaries, bursting spasms in the stomach, and bleeding.

    Young men had their testicles subjected to large doses of radiation and were subsequently castrated to ascertain the pathological change in their testes. Experiments on twins were performed by the infamous Doctor Joseph Mengele at Auschwitz. Among Mengele's favorite experimental subjects were Jewish dwarves and identical twins.

    Mengele's obsession with the Nazi ideology of racial purity and Aryanism led him to believe that he could unlock the secrets of human reproduction and multiple births. His goal was to help the Aryan "master" race multiply in even greater numbers and eventually to repopulate the world with Germans.

    Of the 1, pairs of twins used, about pairs survived. Doctor August Hirt, Professor of Anatomy at Strassburg University, wished to acquire a large collection of Jewish skulls and skeletons to form a museum dedicated to the extinct Jewish race. Inpersons were gassed at the Natzweiller-Struhof Concentration Camp.

    The corpses were immediately transported to the Anatomy Pavilion of the Strassburg University Hospital. Torture, Starvation, Cruelty, Murder The death toll in the name of scientific research was horrific. In all of the experiments, the prisoners were forced to become subjects against their will.

    Donald Schon (Schön) learning, reflection and change

    They nearly all endured suffering, mutilation and indescribable pain. In fact, the experiments were deliberately designed to end fatally. His research is devoted to methods of rewarming frozen victims of cold. Much of what he and other hypothermia specialists know about rescuing frozen victims is the result of trial and error performed in hospital emergency rooms. Pozos believes that many of the existing rewarming techniques that have been used thus far lack a certain amount of critical scientific thinking.

    Pozos points out that the major rewarming controversy has been between the use of passive external rewarming which uses the patient's own body heat and active external rewarming which means the direct application of exogenous heat directly to the surface of the body.

    Hospitals have thus far microwaved frozen people, used warm blankets, induced warm fluids into body cavities through the pertinium, rectum or urinary bladderperformed coronary bypass surgery, immersed the frozen bodies into hot bath tubs, and used body-to-body rewarming techniques.

    This might be due to the lack of legitimate information on the effects of cold on humans, since the existing data is limited to the effects of cold on animals.

    Animals and humans differ widely in their physiological response to cold. Accordingly, hypothermia research is uniquely dependent on human test subjects. Although Pozos has experimented on many volunteers at his hypothermia lab, he refused to allow the subject's temperature to drop more than 36 degrees. Pozos had to speculate what the effects would be on a human being at lower temperatures. The only ones that put humans through extensive hypothermia research at lower temperatures were the Nazis at Dachau.

    The Nazis immersed their subjects into vats of ice water at sub-zero temperatures, or left them out to freeze in the winter cold.

    2 thoughts on “dating in your 50's

    1. Loved the prone bone and the doggy style. Also love both your shaved head as well as when you've let it grow a bit like here. It reminds me of a boss of mine earlier in life.

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