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    The truth about online dating for overs: Looking for coffee and more? Well, get over it! I did it because I wanted to have fun, flirt and meet men outside my social group. I felt some trepidation about putting myself out there. Especially for someone who barely has an online presence. But 15 million people in the UK are registered for online dating and one in five relationships now start online.

    There are an overwhelming 1, dating sites, though, so where to start? I decide to try those recommended by friends and that advertise the best success rates: I go for the least level of exposure, with a black and white pic of me wearing sunglasses.

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    The site asks questions about my looks, level of education, lifestyle and beliefs, and then the difficult bit: I say I am looking for a slim, six-foot Caucasian man, easygoing, energetic, enthusiastic, generous, confident and funny. I realise I am describing my husband. Maybe I should be more experimental.

    I describe myself as slim, blonde, widowed, easygoing and ready for a new relationship all true and give myself the name Life Enhancer. Before you can contact the men they suggest, you must subscribe. The men I find First up is Nottinghillbilly, pictured with messy hair, a beard and in a leather jacket.

    I then peruse Oddball, Goopile and Naked Plumber. A guy called Wayne winks, but on his profile I discover he is recovering from having his brain tinkered with on the NHS, and much as he sounds lovely, I need someone straightforward at this stage in my life.

    LondonArty looks younger than some so I try him.

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    He responds by asking me to come up and see his Samurai Swords. But I agree to meet Unicorn, a year-old retired construction engineer, for a coffee in the West End, where we both work. How it works Being a Guardian reader, I assume this will be dominated by intelligent, solvent and liberal Guardian readers. I upload the same photo and answer the same questions and details as I did on Match. It is the Guardian after all.

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    A feature called Your Matches creates a list of compatible, potential dates. The men I find On day one, I get six matches who are all in their fifties, rated an overall 75 per cent match with me. That means we have interests in common and fit into the right age bracket. Only Corona emails, saying he is solvent, a widower, and likes Daft Punk and Bowie.

    Not bad, I think. Ellyleadguitarist sends a good email: As suitable traffic has not been forthcoming on the other sites, and now feeling more confident, I upload a different photo, this time wearing a hat.

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    The men I find I have lots of banter and flirting with men, then a long interaction with Peter from Royston. He implies he has enough money not to work but is bored being single and would like a companion to share his holidays and life with.

    We have similar taste in music and talk about the joys of travelling around the States. I feel more comfortable on this website than any of the others.

    You sign on via Facebook so Tinder receives your public profile, friend list, email address, relationship interest, birthday, status updates and everything else. I find this disconcerting and rather too revealing, but soon get over it. And unless you are matched i. The men I find My first message is from someone I recognise and share Facebook friends with. He works close by and we arrange to meet. Pros Fast, fun and amusing.

    Cons Time wasting and addictive. But there are too many choices and all in their twenties and thirties. For a laugh I had a look at Toyboy Warehouse. Several men are seeking women anywhere between 25 and
    Here are five rules to protect yourself from disappointment. Monica has dated younger men and advises taking the emotion out of sex Rule 1 of dating over Emotionally, you need to construct a wall around yourself which nobody can penetrate until you believe it to be safe.

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    People will plunder your emotions without compunction if you let them. It is up to you keep them locked up, like jewels. Some women, in particular, leave themselves emotionally vulnerable by investing too much hope in a particular potential mate, or after physical intimacy with someone. If you meet someone you fancy, by all means enjoy good, fun sex.

    Then there is the scamming side of online dating. Most people have heard the woeful tales of vulnerable, lonely women preyed on by men who promise them love before persuading them to stump up big bucks for a bogus medical bill or some other phony hard-luck scenario. The poor mug had never asked himself why a sexy pouting year-old would throw herself at a fifty-something Indian divorcee living in Pinner.

    His online photo showed a younger, better looking man than the ropey, dentally challenged individual sitting opposite me in the restaurant. It is common for dating site users to edit themselves in some way. Some purport to be single, while having a hapless spouse at home. These are usually the candidates without a profile photo. It can be overwhelming, and tricky to choose the right one. My first few weeks online were spent in trial and error.

    To begin with I used a dating site designed for principally for oldies, but I would advise against this. It attracts the sort of people who only feel safe among their own age group.

    The sort who eventually retire to a little bungalow by the sea, where they congregate with other retirees living in similar bungalows. Bigger, mainstream, all-generations sites tend to be less staid and a bit more funky. Just be sensible, keep your wits about you and realise that dating sites are microcosms of society, so you will encounter all sorts of people and situations. This is where being older and wiser comes in handy.

    As with Tinder, only people who like the look and sound of each other will be able to make contact. But the site is meant to be as much about finding someone for friendship and companionship, as for romance and rumpy pumpy.

    It aims to have safeguards in place to deter scammers and the disingenuous. Will the safeguards work? Despite its frequent frustrations and disappointments, I loved my adventurous year of internet dating. I met a staggering array of people, had some good times, and learnt a lot — about myself and others. However, online dating is a world of opportunity, courtesy of our wondrous modern technology. Enter a dating site as you would walk through a slightly dodgy part of town:
    When personally reviewing all of the top dating sites for meeting older women we look at a huge number of variables.

    We strive to identify the sites that our readers will find the most success using. To ensure that we provide a fair and balanced take we always measure each site on the following characteristics and many other: These numbers come from publicly released numbers and are critical to consider.

    The best dating sites for meeting older women have millions of men and women using their site.

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    The larger the membership the easier it is to meet a woman. The higher the concentration of cougars the better. Even if a site has a lot of people using it you may not find great success if there are very few actual older women using the site. Combining a high total membership and high cougar concentration makes for a great site for cougar dating. Free cougar dating sites are notorious for their extremely low success rates and a lot are scams.

    A few of the free cougar dating reviews sites are listed further down in this post. Legitimate — No matter where you spend your time you need to ensure the site is run by a well known legitimate company.

    There are a lot of sites out there that look decent at the beginning but really are just shells covering up empty sites that only want to take your money. Profile setup time — The top cougar dating sites out there know that it has to be easy to make a profile on their site. Therefore, how long will it takes to fully set up your profile and be ready talk to older women or cougars get up and running to meet you is critical. This includes the signup, profile completion, and any other questions that are required to get started.

    More in-depth profiles can create higher commitment levels for cougars. It also makes it easier to identify a woman who is interested in dating younger men. If there are a lot of cubs around it can have the huge benefit or regularly attracting a lot of cougars. While it might be tempting to think that you want to be the only option, in reality it is in your best interest to have a healthy number of other guys out there. Plus, it keeps you from getting to lazy! Daily time commitment — How much of a daily time commitment is necessary to be successful on this site?

    One of the best things about dating older women online is the minimum commitment. Once you set up a great profile it will only require a few minutes a day to get in touch with dozens of cougars. Some cougar dating sites provide automated matching while other require you to do that on your own.

    The technological capabilities, matchmaking algorithms, and user interface of a site all have huge impacts on how much time it actually takes to meet a cougar. Success Guarantee — Does the site provide some kind of guarantee that you will be successful?

    These guarantees of often in the form of additional months of free membership but require certain conditions to have been met during the initial membership period to qualify. These conditions can include logging in a certain number of times, completely filling out a profile, or messaging a certain number of older women.

    A success guarantee is a huge indicator that you are dealing with a quality site and should give you a little more confidence that you are not wasting your time. Now that we have identified WHERE you will be looking for cougars online lets discuss a little more about WHY online dating is a must for anyone aspiring to date older women.

    If you set off to find a cougar on any given day your results will be hit or miss. Even if you do happen to find a woman to pursue the circumstances are often difficult. The more older women you meet the better your understanding of what you want. There is no easier method to meet a lot of older women than harnessing the power of the internet. Where else can you spend a few minutes a day and potentially meet dozens of attractive older women?

    Even men who are comfortable meeting and talking to women their own age are not safe. It is a much more comfortable learning process when you have the time to think about what you are going to say. Using online message or text you build a level of comfort with a cougar before meeting her in the real world.

    You have nothing to lose by trying online dating aside from a little time. In the time it would take shower, get dressed, and drive down to the local cougar bar you can complete your profile and have messaged a dozen attractive cougars. For the cost of a few drinks at the bar you can join eHarmonyElite Singles, and Cougar Life and stop wasting time and money buying drinks in bars.

    It is the most efficient way to meet older women imaginable. Where else can you quickly find and talk to a huge number of beautiful, successful, and pre-qualified older women that are eager to meet younger men.

    Can you imagine how long it would take in a bar, even a notorious cougar hang out, to meet and have a conversation with 20 attractive cougars? You can achieve the same goals in ten minutes online! Meeting woman in the usual places should still be a regular part of your cougar dating strategy.

    There is absolutely no reason why every single man should not be using online dating. Now that we understand what the cubs are getting out of these sites. We are dealing with women who are not only more mature and sophisticated than the girls young men are used to dealing. While your average year-old is working at Starbucks or searching for entry level jobs cougars are busy with the career they have spent years building.

    These women do not have time to spend in bars looking for younger men, nor do they want to. They are very open to finding mature younger men from the comfort of their own homes however. Discretion Online dating no longer has any stigma attached to it. Having a public profile on eHarmonyEliteSingles. Most people would not even bat an eye about it. However, having a profile on some of the extremely sketchy dating sites listed below could be damaging to the reputation she has spent many years building.

    There is often the assumption that men desire to only date women younger than them. Being able to quickly and easily see from a profile that a man is interested in dating women older than them makes it much easier for a woman to make the first move. No public member counts If the site is unwilling to share the number of members they have it is typically because those numbers are small and would make them look bad.

    It is a big problem if a site is trying to hide any information. The top cougar dating sites out there proudly advertise the number of satisfied customers they have. There are a lot of sites out there that are nearly completely men with almost no women. Lots of stock photography of nearly naked women everywhere but the profiles If the homepage is very clearly only going targeting men you can assume that men are their core audience.

    Do you want to join a cougar dating site that is only trying to attract men as members?

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    A good site will try very hard to attract both men and older women. They know that sites without a good balance are not going to last very long. Unlicensed picture of famous celebrity couples Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were an inspirational couple for all the cougars and cubs out there.

    As you can see from the long list of dating websites above there are a TON of extremely sketchy websites on the internet. The twelve I listed above are just a small sample of what you can find with a simple Google search. You need to use your instincts and common sense when choosing which websites to frequent. However, if you are a busy man or simply someone who likes to be efficient and effective with his time take a few minutes and sign up for eHarmony, Elite Singles, and Cougar Life.

    These cougar dating websites have a fantastic population of older women looking to meet younger men. If you are serious about dating cougars there is nothing you will find that will yield better results for the amount of effort you put in.

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