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    Before dating evolved, a man would call upon a woman in her home, as shown in this engraving published in Harper's Weekly.

    Library of Congress hide caption toggle caption Library of Congress Before dating evolved, a man would call upon a woman in her home, as shown in this engraving published in Harper's Weekly.

    Library of Congress The hookup — that meeting and mating ritual that started among high school and college students — is becoming a trend among young people who have entered the workaday world. For the many who are delaying the responsibilities of marriage and child-rearing, hooking up has virtually replaced dating.

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    It is a major shift in the culture over the past few decades, says Kathleen Bogle, a professor of sociology and criminal justice at La Salle University. Young people during one of the most sexually active periods of their lives aren't necessarily looking for a mate.

    What used to be a mate-seeking ritual has shifted to hookups: Fun, Not Marriage "Going out on a date is a sort of ironic, obsolete type of thing," says year-old Elizabeth Welsh, who graduated from college in and now lives in Boston. She says that among her friends, dating is a joke. It's so cliche — isn't that funny? The term "hookup" is so vague, however, it might well encompass someone's idea of virginity — it involves anything from kissing to fooling around, oral sex and sexual intercourse.

    That's the beautiful thing about the phrase.

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    Whatever happened is hooking up. The hooking-up phenomena has been traced back to the s and the s, when male and female students were thrown together in apartment-style dormitories, and there was a revolt against strict rules on having a member of the opposite sex in your dorm, lights out and curfews. Throw in the heavy drinking that occurs on most campuses, and there are no inhibitions to stand in the way of a hookup. The alumni Bogle spoke with were less into hooking up after leaving college, but she says that's changing.

    It is catching on among young working adults, mainly because of the Internet and social networks. The Evolution Of Dating Dating itself represented a historical change.

    It evolved out of a courtship ritual where young women entertained gentleman callers, usually in the home, under the watchful eye of a chaperon.

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    At the turn of the 20th century, dating caught on among the poor whose homes were not suitable for entertaining, according to Beth Bailey's history of dating, From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America.

    Young couples would go out for a movie or dinner. The expectation was that dating, as with courtship, would ultimately lead to a relationship, the capstone of which was marriage. Precious few of these young women attended college. According to experts, the main reason hooking up is so popular among young people is that in the United States and other Western countries, the age at which people marry for the first time has been steadily creeping up.

    As ofin the United States, men married for the first time around the age of 27, and women at about 25 years of age. Bogle says the hookup is what happens when high school seniors and college freshmen suddenly begin to realize they won't be marrying for five, 10 or 15 years.

    Prioritizing Career And Social Life Marriage is often the last thing on the minds of young people leaving college today.

    Dating and a relationship interfered with that. Avery Leake, 25, knows what this is like from the other side. He's in a relationship now, but he says that, in general, most of the young women he used to meet "just wanted sex.

    Leake found that he was also up against women who had as much money as he had, if not more, and he says dating had just become too expensive.

    A number of experts accept this relaxed attitude toward sex outside of relationships as a natural consequence of the sexual revolution, women's growing independence and the availability of modern contraceptives. But Deborah Roffman, who conducts human sexuality workshops for middle- and high-school-age students and their parents, sees that as a distorted view of liberation. I think most people would probably look back and agree that this has been a more traditionally, or at least stereotypically, male model," says Roffman.

    She would feel much better if young men also were developing a greater capacity for intimacy. Being able to engage in intimate relationships where men and women bring all of themselves to the relationship is the cornerstone of family, Roffman says. But young people like Elizabeth Welsh don't see the hookup as an obstacle to future relationships: She's lived a lot of places: Argentina, Canada and Paris. Wilkerson says she hasn't found much intimacy with the men she's encountered.

    In New York City, where she moved two years ago, people seem even more emotionally detached, and she thinks it is because so many of the people who come to the big city are focused on success. There was one older guy who was serious; he used to bring her cupcakes. She couldn't work up an interest in him. Today, Wilkerson says people hook up via the Internet and text messaging. That fragmentation of the social world creates a lot of loneliness.

    Deborah Roffman says no one is offering this generation guidance on how to manage what is essentially a new stage in life.

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    The dilemma for this generation is how to learn about intimacy, she says: Wilkerson doesn't really focus on the concerns of people like Roffman, who fear that hooking up doesn't bode well for the future of young people.

    She thinks young people will be able to sort it out for themselves. We know about condoms and sexually transmitted disease.

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    Sex is fun, and a lot of people would argue that it is a physical need. It's a healthy activity.

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