African american dating sites quote

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    Black Women Quotes (65 quotes)

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    But these dudes spend their time trying to convince women that it is our fault for not choosing this fabled, little seen creature who is allegedly in abundance but we are too choosy and like thugs to find one: The Proverbial Good Black Man. I have an eclectic mix of black lady friends on the social media who expand from California to New York.

    From London to Barbados and all these ladies are saying the same exact thing: And it is not just on the social media where black women in their forties are complaining about the availability of black men in their age bracket that are financially solvent, emotionally stable and ready to commit to something as simple as a movie date but offline too. I have friends that I have known for years who are single and fed up with the games, the utter lack of accountability and have surrounded their hearts with a wall of stone.

    Two years ago back in August, I got myself out of a long term relationship that was going nowhere because he irritated my soul and made my ass itch. But like always, people do not like the idea of a black woman being single and free because a free woman is a dangerous bitch.

    So my best friend and my daughter suggested that I try online dating and see what happens. Shit, I have a child and makeup habit to support.

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    And Lawd have mercy on my soul why I do that because I have met some characters on that bitch. Looked like a walking skeleton with hair. Or the cute ass white fella around my age who actually could hitch a word or two together and wrote a magnificent paragraph about my beauty, charm, blah, blah, blah but when we actually talked on the phone, told me I asked too many questions.

    I guess he thought I was going to be discussing how black women suck a better dick than white women. And now the brothers oh my goodness. Constantly sending sexually explicit pictures and messages, trying to come over my house for a meal without offering to spend a dime on groceries.

    Never suggesting so much as a date to a coffee shop because they are some cheap bastards.

    Africans VS. African Americans (Dating & Relationships)


    Always trying to get some coochie and come up on a meal at the same time. In this new world of dating, Black men consider themselves the prize and the women are supposed to chase behind them whether these men are blind, crippled, crazy and look like an old sock; they have dicks and women are automatically supposed to drop to their knees and worship the mic, literally and figuratively. These two men in particular never wanted to communicate with me via the phone except for texting and that shit irritated me.

    I am a relic from a forgotten era: Misspelled words, sentence fragments and quick to ask for a nude picture, all kinds of foolishness from complete strangers. So after all of this, I have taken myself out of the dating game for now because at 46, I do not have time for this bullshit. I will not be chasing complete strangers. I will not be deciphering text messages from grown ass men who should know how to spell.

    I will not be allowing strange men into my home around my year old daughter because they are too cheap to take a woman on a date. But according to some black men and their band of thirsty Pick Me heifers, I just need to choose better or switch up my circle.

    Men who refuse to be held accountable for anything? More From Thought Catalog.
    In fact, the pressure is so strong, I sometimes get the suspicious feeling that everyone else out there is more afraid of us being single and having options than we are.

    What is everyone so afraid of?

    Black Women Quotes (65 quotes)

    I went on a date recently with a ruggedly handsome, intelligent and funny guy. It was a great night, filled with stimulating conversation, laughter and, in the end, high-quality intimacy. Is it my intention to exclusively date or eventually try to marry this guy?

    Black Women Quotes (65 quotes)

    Because I have the emotional muscle and maturity to understand that our backgrounds, entanglements and existing commitments preclude us from that kind of a connection. It is extremely difficult for most folks to accept that things outside of us cannot fill the need for soul connection. Marriage can often be one of those things. People who play games, and who see connection and relationships as games, never really grow up. They rarely access anything deep. I can sum up my opinion of the book in two words: In it, women must fit into one of these categories: The barely-hidden cruelty of it is like watching a cat toy with a mouse.

    It plays upon the worst insecurities of men and women — but especially the African-American women who make up a large portion of its target audience: It is an insulting and denigrating premise.

    Sorry, Steve, but we do not exist on this earth to settle for scraps from one another. Inside of us is the ability to love and love deeply. Women should not suppress or ignore that ability simply because it is difficult for men to access or understand.

    Women should not fear being doomed to loneliness if they insist on living in their highest nature. The assumption that marriage is the highest goal and ideal state of being for an African-American woman — or any woman — is all wrong.

    Marriage, in its traditional sense, is crucially dependent upon a commitment to teamwork and the sacrifice of one's identity as an individual. You're no longer Barbara or Roxanne; you're the CFO, the chauffeur, the cook and all these other titles that serve other people. Your marriage doesn't even belong to you. Everyone - your parents, the government, the church - has a stake in it. If you went into marriage not really knowing who you are, or what you really want, or having a sense of your own value, worth and "good enough-ness," marriage only serves to dilute you even further.

    I believe in my heart of hearts that many women, though certainly not all, lose themselves when they marry and have children.

    The expectations and fantasies that women and men both have about what marriage will offer or solve are rudely dispelled by reality. African-American women do not give themselves permission to love, to be passionate, to enjoy life, to laugh, to take risks, to live by their own rules, to confront lies, to tell their story, to stand up, to be themselves, to be loud, to be quiet, to connect, to touch, to feel, to be their most powerful, compelling, beautiful and awesome selves.

    However, we must begin to connect with ourselves first. For all of us, men and women, but especially women, knowing yourself, loving yourself, understanding your personality challenges and putting your own wellness first are critical to being a good mate. I did not have the opportunity to achieve any of that until I was mature, divorced and living single. I am happier now than I have ever been, not because I hate marriage, but because for the first time in my life I truly, fully and deeply love and understand myself.

    Black Women Quotes (65 quotes)

    Will I ever marry again? But I am ecstatically enjoying the single life - even with its challenges and shortcomings. I was never lonelier than when I was married. And if that's the case for so many people - and trust me, it is - what's the point? I challenge folks to move past the distraction of arguing about how African-American women are shortchanging themselves by not getting married and move toward building healthy African-American men, women and children who love themselves first as individuals.

    Marriage, when it's good, is a beautiful thing. And I know of some really good marriages. But when it's all said and done, I'd rather be single and live my truth than be married and live someone else's lie. Moliere is a writer, artist and speaker. She is the creator of SexyBrainiac. Got a question for her? She can be reached at nicolemoliere hotmail.

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    More From Thought Catalog

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    1 thoughts on “Black Women Have Less Success In Online Dating

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