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    The Coming Out Experience For lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people, realizing their sexual orientation or gender identity and sharing that information with family and friends is often a gradual process that can unfold over a series of years.

    This section looks at the process of coming out—when and how it happens, how difficult it is, and what impact it has on relationships. This section also explores the interactions LGBT adults have outside of their circles of family and close friends—in their communities and workplaces. Some seek out neighborhoods that are predominantly LGBT, but most do not.

    A majority of employed LGBT adults say their workplaces are accepting of people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Still, about half say only a few or none of their co-workers know about their sexual orientation or gender identity. Ultimately, these journeys are personal and hard to quantify. Survey respondents were invited to elaborate on their experiences, and many of their stories are captured in an interactive feature on the Pew Research Center website.

    There are large differences here across LGB groups. And they are much more likely to say that most of the people who are important to them know about this aspect of their life: Among bisexuals, there are large differences between men and women in the share who say the people closest to them know that they are bisexual. There are no significant differences across age groups. Similar shares of young, middle-aged and older LGBT adults say most of the important people in their life are aware of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

    Growing Up LGBT Lesbian, gay and bisexual survey respondents were asked how old they were when they first felt they might be something other than straight or heterosexual. Gay men report, on average, thinking around age 10 that they might not be straight.

    For both lesbians and bisexuals, the median age is The vast majority of lesbians, gay men and bisexuals say they were in their teens or younger when they first started to feel they might not be straight.

    Gay men are the least likely to report first having these feelings in their twenties or beyond: After these initial feelings, it took some time for most LGBT adults to be sure of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Again, gay men reached this milestone, on average, sooner than lesbians and bisexuals.

    The median age at which gay men say they were sure they were gay is For lesbians, the median age when they were certain about their sexual orientation was 18, and for bisexuals it was Telling Friends and Family The next step in the process for many people is telling a close friend or family member that you are or might be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. For a small share of respondents in the Pew Research survey, this is a step they have not yet taken and may never take.

    Among those who have told a friend or family member about their sexual orientation or gender identity, the median age at which they did this was The median age is slightly lower for gay men 18 than lesbians 21 or bisexuals There are modest differences on this measure by age group among gay men and lesbians.

    Among those ages 30 to 49, the median age is 20, and for those ages 50 and older, the median age is Fully two-thirds of gay men and lesbians under age 30 say they shared their sexual orientation with a friend or family member before they were 20 years old.

    These age gaps may be related to the fact that younger adults who may not yet identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender but may in the future would not qualify to be included in the survey. Therefore, by definition, these younger adults could not have waited until they were age 30 or older to tell someone they were gay or lesbian. Even so, these age gaps may reflect the changes that have taken place in society over the past decade or so.

    As the public has become more accepting of the LGBT population, it may be that gay men and lesbians feel more comfortable sharing their sexual orientation at an earlier age.

    It is important to note that many LGBT adults followed a different sequence in coming to realize their sexual orientation or gender identity and beginning to share it with others. Some individuals first felt they might be something other than straight, then told someone about it, but are still not entirely sure.

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    Others may know for certain that they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender but may have never shared this information with anyone. Telling Mom and Dad An important milestone for many lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people is telling their parents about their sexual orientation or gender identity. Overall, LGBT adults are more likely to have shared this information with their mothers than with their fathers. Most say telling their parents was difficult, but relatively few say it damaged their relationship.

    The same share say they have not told their father. Overall, LGBT adults are much more likely to have told a close friend that they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender than they are to have told one of their parents. Across LGB groups, gay men and lesbians are much more likely than bisexuals to have told their parents about their sexual orientation.

    There is a significant difference here between bisexual men and women. LGBT respondents who said that they have not told their parents about their sexual orientation or gender identity were asked in an open-ended question why they had not shared this information.

    Two main reasons emerged. First, many respondents say it was not important to tell their parent or that the subject never came up. Bisexuals are much more likely than gay men and lesbians to say their sexual orientation never came up with their parents or that raising the subject was not important to them.

    The second-most common response given by LGBT adults in explaining why they did not tell their mother or father about their sexual orientation or gender identity was that they assumed their parent would not be accepting or understanding of this, or they worried about how it would affect their relationship with their parent. There are no significant differences here between gay men, lesbians and bisexuals.

    One-in-five gay men and lesbians who have not told their mother about their sexual orientation say they never told her because she already knew or someone else told her. This is less of a factor with mothers: She is very conservative and not very accepting. Her oldest brother was casualty of the AIDS epidemic in the early 90s. I rarely discuss details of my love life with anyone since I am a deeply private person.

    It was like a silent acknowledgement but not acceptance. I was very conflicted about him. I wanted his love. Relatively few say their relationship grew weaker.

    For those who have told their father that they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, the pattern is much the same. Gay men and lesbians are more likely than bisexuals who have told their father about their sexual orientation to say this made their relationship stronger. Brothers and Sisters Among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender adults who have a sibling, roughly six-in-ten say they have told their siblings about their sexual orientation or gender identity. Gay men and lesbians are more likely than bisexuals to have shared this information with a sister or brother.

    Nearly everyone in my life knows, and if someone new comes into my life, I tell him or her. If this person cannot accept that I am gay, then he or she does not need to be a part of my life. I came of age when AIDS first emerged and homophobia was acceptable.

    I wasted too many years being afraid of my sexuality and making choices that allowed me to hide in the background of life. I was sort of a professional wallflower. I was nervous, even though he told me afterwards that he had known for a while. Nowadays, there really is no decision. I simply have a sexual orientation the same as anyone else, and talk about my partner, etc. For my friends, I was scared they would think I was hitting on them.

    I come from a pretty Catholic, Midwestern town, so it was rough. Thankfully, my family said they loved me no matter what. Those who love me and truly care for me have, of course, been the most understanding. My brother has actually taken the news the best; much better than I even expected. My friends have been cool; they generally use the right pronouns once that was explained and they all call me my chosen name now which is just wonderful. Now on the internet and in association with peers and fan culture, I am out.
    Rebate scams try to convince you that you are entitled to a rebate or reimbursement from the government, a bank or trusted organisation.

    These types of scams generally involve promoting goods and services that are of poor quality, or not delivered at all. Sometimes they may pretend to conduct a survey so they can get your personal details, or to disguise their sales pitch until they have been talking to you for a while.

    Some of the warning signs you may be dealing with a scammer include: For more information about your rights and protections when approached by a door-to-door salesperson, see: Scammers often try to create a sense of urgency through short deadlines, fake emergencies or threats of legal action. Be suspicious of requests for money — even if they sound or look official.

    Government departments will never contact you asking for money upfront in order to claim a rebate. Scammers will often ask you to use an unusual payment method, including preloaded debit cards, gift cards, iTunes cards or virtual currency such as Bitcoin.

    Verify the identity of the contact by calling the relevant organisation directly — find them through an independent source such as a phone book or online search. Do not use the contact details provided in the message sent to you. Always do your own research before you invest money and check the company or scheme is licensed on ASIC's MoneySmart website.

    Be suspicious of unexpected emails or letters advising you how to claim an inheritance or competition prize. Never give out your personal details and seek advice from an independent professional.

    We encourage you to report scams to the ACCC via the report a scam page. This helps us to warn people about current scams, monitor trends and disrupt scams where possible. Please include details of the scam contact you received, for example, email or screenshot.

    We also provide guidance on where to get help. More information Protect yourself from scams. There are steps that everyone can take to keep safe from scams.
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